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Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior that involves
physical abuse or the threat of physical abuse. It also may include
repeated psychosocial abuses, assault, progressive social isolation,
deprivation, intimidation, or economic coercion. Domestic violence
is perpetrated by adults or adolescents against their intimate partners
in current or former dating, married or cohabiting relationships
of heterosexuals, gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, or transgendered
people. Domestic violence does not discriminate against race, class,
gender, religious, age, or economic status.
MYTHS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
1. MYTH #1 - Domestic Violence is just a momentary loss of
temper.
FACT: Power and control are the issues
behind domestic violence. The batterer uses them to control
the victim. Domestic violence usually gets worse over time.
2. MYTH #2 - Domestic Violence does not occur in all social
economic classes.
FACT: Domestic Violence occurs across
all economic classes, as well as all ethnic groups, cultures,
religions, social classes, income levels and occupations.
3. MYTH #3 - Domestic Violence occurs because of drugs and
alcohol.
FACT: Drugs and alcohol are often
used as an excuse for domestic violence. They are not the cause.
Violence is a choice a batterer makes to express his/her anger.
4. MYTH #4 - Heads of households have the right to control
the people they support.
FACT: No one in a relationship has
the right to control his / her partner.
5. MYTH #5 - The victim stays because she / he must like it.
FACT: There are many reasons why a
victim stays in a violent relationship. Reasons include fear,
financial concerns, love, children, religious beliefs, cultural
/ ethnic beliefs, low self-esteem, and belief the situation
will get better.
6. MYTH #6 - If the batterer is truly sorry and promises to
reform, the abuse is going to stop.
FACT: A batterer often says he / she
is sorry. This does not mean the abuse will stop. He / she needs
to take responsibility for his / her behavior and also take
the appropriate steps to change.
7. MYTH #7 - If the violent episodes don't result in injury,
the situation is not that serious.
FACT: The situation is serious. Many
people in violent relationships minimize and deny the violence.
It gets worse over time. If children are also present, they
learn violence is "okay."
Characteristics of an Abuser:
- Jealous
- Controlling
- Explosive temper
- Critical of partner
- Family history of violence
- History of violent acts
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- Manipulative
- Minimizes abuse incidents
- Blames others for actions
- Isolates victims
- Cruelty to animals / children
- Unpredictable behaviors
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Who is the Victim?
- Physically abused
- Fears partner's behavior
- Doesn't want to anger partner
- Lives life on "tiptoes"
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- Apologizes for partner's behavior
- 95% are women
- Minimizes the violent incidents
- Wants to help partner
- Has low self esteem
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